Erasmus Fry

Erasmus Fry was an early 20th century author who suffered from a complete lack of inspiration.

History
In 1927, he traveled to Greece with a purpose. On Mount Helicon, he discovered Calliope the muse of legend, bathing in a stream, and she had left her scroll on the shore. She was startled by the appearance of Fry, bearing flowers of Moly in one hand and her scroll in the other. When she told him her name, he burned her scroll, and she became his slave. Traditionally, the best way to coax a muse to grant an artist inspiration was to woo her; to be humble and gracious, thankful for any and everything she granted. Fry, had no time for such things and found rape so much more efficient.

After a long and successful career built on forcing inspiration from her, another writer, Richard Madoc, traded a bezoar to Fry for custody of the muse. Fry's advice was simply, "They say one ought to woo her kind, but I must say I found force most efficacious."

During a television interview, many years later, Madoc was told that Fry died nearly a year previously, he assumed that Fry had died of old age, but discovered Fry had actually poisoned himself after writing a letter begging his publishers to bring a book of his back into print. Ironic, since bezoars were known to be proof against poison.